Introduction:

In a world fuelled by social media, where carefully curated snapshots of others' lives flood our screens, it's easy to fall into the trap of comparison. Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Comparison is the thief of joy," and in this digital age, these words resonate more than ever. In this blog post, we'll explore the profound impact of comparison on our wellbeing and discuss ways to break free from its clutches to discover or own authentic path in life.

"The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday." - Matty Mullins

The Downfall of Comparison:

Unrealistic Standards:

When we consistently measure our lives against others' highlight reels, we set ourselves up for disappointment. It's a human tendency to showcase the best moments, creating an illusion of perfection not only on social media but also in direct conversations. The reality, however, is that everyone faces challenges and imperfections. So, why aren't we more honest about it?

1. Social Validation:
   There's an inherent need for social approval and validation. Showcasing the positive aspects of our lives seeks affirmation, fostering a sense of acceptance and belonging.

2. Fear of Judgment:
   There's often a fear of being judged or criticised by others for our perceived shortcomings. Presenting an idealised version of our lives becomes a defence mechanism to avoid potential negative opinions or comments.

3. Cultural Influences:
   Many cultures emphasise success, happiness, and achievement, pressuring individuals to highlight positives and downplay struggles.

4. Psychological Defence Mechanism:
   In some cases, projecting an idealised version of our life can serve as a psychological defence mechanism. It helps us cope with insecurities or dissatisfaction by creating a facade that, at least on the surface, appears successful and content.

5. Selective Memory and Perception:
   Human memory isn't always accurate; cognitive biases influence perception. Focusing on positive experiences and downplaying negatives contributes to a rosier depiction.

6. Maintaining Self-Esteem:
   Portraying one's life in a positive light can be a way to maintain and boost self-esteem. By showcasing achievements and positive moments, individuals reinforce a positive self-image both for themselves and in the eyes of others.

7. Social Comparison Theory:
   Leon Festinger's Social Comparison Theory suggests people determine worth by comparing with others, attempting to elevate perceived status by sharing positive aspects.

Comparison can lead to a detrimental cycle of self-doubt. Constantly measuring ourselves against others may make us feel inadequate, fostering a sense of unworthiness and make us do things that don't bring is joy.

It's crucial to recognize that everyone's journey is unique, and success is subjective. You are unlike anyone else, so what works for others might not work for you, whether in business, dieting, working out, clothing choices, relationships, or daily actions.

Once you really start to follow your own life's path the outcome is like nothing else you have ever experienced.

Life will feel easier, a profound sense of fulfilment emerges, genuine happiness arises from aligning with your authentic values, and a unique narrative reflecting your true essence unfolds.

You might be thinking right now;

"Well, this all sounds great, but how do I stop comparing?"

Let's have a look at that, shall we

"Comparison with myself brings improvement; comparison with others brings discontent."
- Betty Jamie Chung

Practical steps to break free from the comparison trap

1. Cultivate Self-Awareness:

Begin by recognising when you're engaging in comparisons. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings, especially when scrolling through social media or interacting with others. Awareness is the first step toward change.

2. Unlock Self-Discovery

Explore tools like Human Design and Astrology to unveil your unique traits. Human Design blends astrology, the I Ching, Kabbalah, and the chakra system, offering a comprehensive understanding of your individuality. Astrology reveals insights based on celestial positions at your birth. Embrace self-awareness through these lenses, empowering yourself to break free from comparisons and wholeheartedly embrace the authenticity of your distinct journey. The more intimately you understand yourself, the less inclined you'll be to measure your worth against others.

3. Challenge Comparison Thoughts:

When you catch yourself comparing, challenge those negative thoughts. Ask yourself if they are based on facts or if they are assumptions, what it is that that person has that you want and why you want it too? Would it truly make you happy having it, or is based on what society has led you believe it would make you happy having it.

4. Practice Gratitude:

Regularly reflect on the positive aspects of your life. Cultivating gratitude helps shift your focus from what you lack to what you have, fostering contentment and reducing the desire to compare.

5. Set Personal Goals:

Establish goals based on your own values and aspirations, not someone else's achievements. Visualise you had a magic wand and that everything would be possible, what would you truly want for yourself?

6. Limit Social Media Exposure:

While social media can be a great source of inspiration, it can also fuel the comparison trap. Set boundaries on your social media use, and consider taking breaks when needed. Remember that social media often presents a curated version of reality.

7. Celebrate Small Wins:

Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Cultivating a habit of recognising your successes builds confidence and reinforces the idea that your journey is unique and valuable.

8. Practice Self-Compassion:

Be kind to yourself. Understand that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, successes, and challenges. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend going through a similar situation.

9. Build a Support System:

Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you and let you be your full authentic self. Share your goals and challenges with trusted friends or family members who can provide encouragement and perspective.

10. Embrace Uniqueness:

Recognise the beauty in diversity and individuality. Understand that your worth is not determined by how you measure up to others. Embrace the unique qualities that make you who you are.

Conclusion:

In our digital era, where comparisons often overshadow our true selves, Theodore Roosevelt's words echo: "Comparison is the thief of joy." Unrealistic standards, the hunger for validation, and the fear of judgment can cloud our journey.

Yet, the key lies in recognizing your unique path, understanding success is personal. Matty Mullins wisely urges focus on personal growth—compare only with yesterday's you.

Practical steps light the way: cultivate self-awareness, explore Human Design and Astrology for self-discovery, celebrate achievements, and practice self-compassion. Build a supportive community, allowing your true self to shine.

As you tread your unique path, life transcends comparison, becoming a canvas of authenticity, fulfillment, and genuine happiness. The ongoing journey to self-discovery reclaims your joy, allowing your unique narrative to unfold. Embrace your uniqueness—your story, exclusively yours. 💫

Other Resources:

1. Why you should stop comparing - Episode 4 | Stories to Remember Podcast. Also available on Itunes, Amazon Music & Youtube

2. Other Blog Posts: The Power of Crystal Clear Goal Setting